Own Your Voice with Gen Z Talk Show Host Rae Fung

[00:00:00] Rae Fung: I truly believe that we all have gifts that are unique, and those gifts, when we use them, will make us very, very happy. Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. When we go do what makes us come alive, we're gonna be happy, and the world's gonna be happy.
So that's why I would share.
[00:00:30] Erika Behl: Welcome to Every Moment is a Choice. I'm your host, Erika Behl. I invite you to join me as we delve into the lives of inspiring and diverse individuals who navigate life with intention. Living with purpose starts with embracing the power you have in every moment. If you enjoy this episode, don't forget to subscribe.
So I am thrilled to have Rae Fung on the podcast today. Hi, Rae.
[00:00:56] Rae Fung: Hello.
[00:01:00] Erika Behl: So let me tell our listeners a little bit about you. Okay. So Rae went from being a girl with low self esteem to now a 20 something year old woman who hosts her own talk show. She also has a podcast, owns the stage as a speaker and MC, and has trained over 5, 000 people on how to. Own their voices. She creates educational content for thousands of followers on TikTok and Instagram to help people build radical self trust with their own voice.
In fact, She considers it her mission to create a world where everyone feels safe to speak up and own their own voice. So I have to admit, I'm a Gen X. I am not usually easily impressed by Gen Z, especially people who use mediums of TikTok and Instagram for a lot of their, uh, work. But I find Rae truly inspirational, and I'm so glad she's here.
[00:01:59] Rae Fung: Every moment is a choice. And this moment is a choice of me being here.
[00:02:04] Erika Behl: Thank you. Thank you for choosing to spend it with us. So listen, I just read out your mission statement. That's a really like lofty mission for a 26 year old person. So why do you feel so passionate about people owning their voice?
And what does that even mean?
[00:02:19] Rae Fung: I'm so passionate about people owning their voice because I didn't value my voice growing up. I felt like I didn't deserve to speak up. Um, I used to feel so like ashamed and ugly of how I looked that I would walk into toilets and like avoid the mirrors because I didn't want to see myself in the mirror.
And I was like falling behind academically. I thought that would amount to nothing. And I think I was really looking at the people around me and I saw that the people who We're speaking up a people who are the prettiest of what the smartest people in the room. And that's why I thought that I didn't have a voice.
I didn't deserve to have a voice. And throughout my journey of, you know, growing my confidence, self discovery, um, owning my voice. I've seen so clearly how in my journey and in my clients transformations, that is when we own our voice, that we live more happy and fulfilling lives. I think it's in when we own our voice that we see life with a lot more purpose and meaning.
We enjoy ourselves a lot more. When we acknowledge the value of our voice, that is when others will listen. That's when we're able to lead. We're able to inspire with our unique voice and our message. And that's why I'm so passionate on helping people own their voice. I feel like when the world is a place where people feel safe to speak up.
That's when each of our individual gifts and our ideas will be able to contribute meaningfully to the world.
[00:03:52] Erika Behl: Amazing. So what, what does it, what does it mean to own your voice? Kind of, what does that look like or sound like?
[00:03:59] Rae Fung: You'll know that someone is speaking. on the journey or has chosen to own your voice when they are confident in their own.
They have this kind of confidence that radiates from deep within them, not the kind of confidence that feels like a weighted jacket or, you know, one that you have to like struggle to put on and take off. It is when we look at someone who owns your voice, just someone that they're unafraid to be themselves.
They aren't afraid to make mistakes. Um, they will speak as themselves and when they say something wrong, they don't go, Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. You know, you'll be like, Oh, okay. I see. I see. Now I know it's good to know, you know, even when they make mistakes, even when they say something quote unquote wrong.
They are gonna own it. They're like, Oh, okay. I learned something new, right? It's not something that phases them. They're comfortable. They're humble. They're authentic. They have this energy that feels comfortable to be around. They don't feel like they need to be in a spotlight all the time, right? They are very comfortable with giving somebody else the spotlight when they When when it is necessary And someone who owns their voice is someone that speaks with certainty speaks with conviction while being open to the perspective of others Even if it differs from theirs A person who owns their voice is just someone that assists them magnetic draw to them, and I'm sure that you have met people like that, right?
Like, you walk into a room and there's just something about them that makes you feel comfortable around them, something about them that makes you just want to get to know them. Those are the people that have started that journey of owning their voice.
[00:05:43] Erika Behl: And it's, it's about an energy as well. I think when you, when you think about, um, that quote, I think it was Maya Angelou who said people will never remember the words you said, but how you made them feel.
And what I'm hearing from you is like, when you project confidence and conviction, you make other people feel, feel safe as well. So you said you had low self esteem as a girl and now you're out there on stage, um, talking to your many followers and everything. So this transformation in your own life, like take us back a little bit.
What, what was going on in your childhood and what kind of made the tipping point over to what, what you wanted to do?
[00:06:29] Rae Fung: Yeah. So as I mentioned, um, when I was, Younger, I didn't feel like I deserved to have a voice. I, I think I wasn't in an environment that made me feel safe to use my voice as well. That's why it's so important for me right now.
And I consider it my mission to create a world where people feel safe to speak up. I think growing up, I didn't feel like my authentic self would be accepted. Maybe I didn't really know who I was back then too, but even Even then, I guess I didn't feel comfortable in my exploration process of who I was.
I was so worried about being judged. I was so worried about what people would think of me, right? I, I mean, I remember that there was one time in, you know, when I was in my secondary school days, I was just sitting in the bus. I think I was 14 back then. And there was this, uh, male classmate, right, that was sitting across me.
And you were just sitting there. Picking a bus to school. Then he looked at my legs, right? I mean like we're wearing, we're wearing, I mean we're wearing skirts, school uniform So my legs were just propped up and I was like putting my legs in front and he looked at my legs He was like, oh my gosh, Rui, why are your legs hairier than mine?
Which I'm sure is just an innocent comment. I don't know why he has smooth baby hair legs Okay, I don't know. But anyways in that moment, I just thought oh shoot like My legs are like hair is ugly, you know, so, you know, it's these things these little things that made me go I mean, I don't i'm ugly or like I shouldn't say this thing.
I shouldn't act this way I was so conscious about how I look and how I act and that's why I wasn't showing them I wasn't speaking out and because I didn't have the environment in school to use my voice freely. I wanted to find out Ways to build my confidence. I wanted to find ways to Feel seen and heard like all of us do right?
I think that every human being we just want to feel seen heard and understood So what I did was I started volunteering in a community center. Yeah, I was doing lots of volunteering in the grassroots events that I would go into, um, elderly homes and volunteer there. And we also had a couple of like community events and the head of that particular volunteering group was looking for someone to.
MC the events and it's a free gig, right? You're not gonna get paid. It's for charity. It's for the community. So I thought, hmm, I think it could be good for my portfolio. So why not? So I decided to take it up at 15 years old, uh, because I was desperately searching for a way to use my voice and for the community, why not?
And what started as a way for me to just feel more confident quickly became one of my greatest passions. So I started emceeing family carnivals, free events. And then over time, I really enjoyed it. I started doing more and more of it. And I started hosting bigger events like events for MNCs or conferences, and most recently an event for the United Nations.
Wow. So that's kind of how I started, you know, using my voice a lot more. I really love being on stage, bouncing off the energy from people in the audience. Even then, um, I was still in a lot of doubt still because I didn't know how it turned into a career. I enjoy MCing, but I didn't see it as a potential career because in Singapore, the media industry is quite small.
Small. So when I entered university, I was quite, um, negative and resigned to what I thought was my fate. Which is that I will enjoy my university life, but when I graduate, I'm gonna hate my life and it's fine. That's what I thought. I know it sounds really sad, but in my mind, I just thought, um, I want to enjoy my life in uni.
And then when I graduate, I'll get a job that, you know, can help me, you know, Live a normal life and even if I hate it, that's how it is because jobs are just meant to earn you money You're not meant to enjoy your job. That's kind of the mindset that I had growing up. I I think that was what I was taught or what I observed and I remember partying so much in university because Since I wasn't truly living when I was awake, I craved to be alive when I was half asleep in the club.
You know, I was just partying a lot, just like partying so that I could escape reality. It would always end up with me waking up in the morning feeling very unfulfilled. You know, like, I didn't know what I wanted to do in the future. I had this, like, feeling of emptiness within me. Thankfully, in my second year of university, I joined a business networking group and I met my first mentor and coach there, which changed my life.
Forever because for the first time I met people who had dreams of their own instead of dreams They were told they needed to have I realized there were other ways to earn money There were people that were like freelance fitness trainers tuition teachers. They're doing like drop shipping digital marketing.
They're doing other things that Brought money in for them. There are other ways to make money, which I didn't know I could I always thought that if you want to be a business owner, you need to be You And oh, white man and buy a, like a big building, right? I didn't know that I could have this other ways to make money.
I started reading, listening to podcasts and it was then, then that I realized I can design my own version of success. So as you can see from today, like speaking on stage and coaching, these are two. Things that really changed my life, and that's why in the work that I do now, I really marry the two.
[00:12:08] Erika Behl: I
[00:12:08] Rae Fung: love
[00:12:09] Erika Behl: that story.
One of the whole premises of my podcast, every moment is a choice, is that there are really no right or wrong choices. And so often people just kind of float through their lives doing what they think is the right thing to do, and then they eventually realize, oh shit, like what? What am I doing? Why am I not happy?
Maybe there's no right or wrong. There's just what's real to me. And, and what's aligned with my values. What do I want out of life? And I love that you found that, you know, coming out of university, because some people don't find that until 20 years later. I love what you just said, beautifully said. Yeah, I think we get way too caught up in that type of thing, especially when you have parental expectations or societal expectations on what you're supposed to do.
[00:13:01] Rae Fung: It started even when you were very young, like when you didn't do well in school, and then you bring your report card to your parents, and the first thing you go is, um, okay, how can you do better? Um, what do you need? More tuition? Do you need to do this? More, you know, 10 year series? Without taking the time to just acknowledge what your emotions might be.
Maybe I'm coming and actually I'm feeling shitty and terrible about myself or failing, and maybe what I really need is for someone to just tell me that I That things will be okay, that it's okay to fail, that it's okay to fail now, and that the next one will be better, but we very often go straight into solution mode, and that's why I think that many people are living in this constant state of like survival, of like wanting to get things right, of like not wanting to get left behind, of wanting to make the right decision because they don't want to lose out.
[00:13:54] Erika Behl: I mean, what you're saying is the truth for many people, um, of my age. And it's profound that someone so young already recognized that, because I think you have an advantage of, you have the awareness. And so you're not going to just float down that path like many other people have and then go through a midlife crisis and then quit your job and then do all this crazy stuff like, like some of us have done.
And so I, I did mention, okay, so we are 20 years. age difference. And I just want, because you have, you know, these big followings on Instagram and TikTok and you will get into like all of your content and how you kind of reach out to people and educate people as well. But I just want to, because I was thinking about this before the podcast is that when I was 26, it was 2003.
I loved my life back then. I was in grad school. I was at Georgetown. in Washington, D. C., and I was still a, still a student. I was studying and everything. And, and I just looked up some of the differences in how, how much 20 years has changed the world. And A lot of what you do, like, we just didn't have the platform for that back then.
You know, there, there was no way of kind of sharing, like sharing your thoughts, building a brand or anything online because we didn't, we just didn't have it. And I looked up some stats. So in 2003, YouTube didn't exist. It actually started in 2005. Like we had cable TV, we had HBO, we had MTV and stuff like that.
So Facebook didn't exist yet. Facebook was still. Like Mark Zuckerberg in his dorm room at Harvard. And I remember that it came out in 2004 and because I had a Georgetown email address, I was allowed to sign up for it. Cause like you could, you could only join if you were, if you had a college email when the Facebook first came out.
So I felt special, but otherwise we had this thing called MySpace. Like, if you ever want to go into vintage, like, cringe, Myspace is there. Even things like, like, creating a video or creating a podcast, like, video equipment was like super expensive, like, we still had digital cameras, I don't think we had smartphones or anything back then.
And my favorite thing is, like, Netflix was there, but it was them mailing you a DVD that you would receive, and then you would mail it back to them, like, that was Netflix.
I love, I love it. And like we were, we had lived in this whole different world. Right. But someone, if you had been my age and you had this realization that you wanted to help people on their voice, like it would have been really hard for you to get your message out there. Cause there just wasn't like that whole platform for sharing your information.
And that's why I think it's a positive because I think so many people now are able to create their own businesses. Where, like you said, it's not an old white man buying a building anymore.
[00:16:59] Rae Fung: Oh my goodness. I cannot even imagine this wall in 2003. I was in primary school.
[00:17:07] Erika Behl: Yeah, but it was, it was still I loved it.
I mean, 2003 is like some nostalgic for me, but one of the other things I wanted to talk about was in terms of the right and wrongs and like the things that have changed since that whole like generational shift is that like at that time, I remember being in grad school and, um, my biggest Objective at that point was like, I was graduating with student debt, so I had to get a good job.
And like the way you looked at your career, for the most part, they were always entrepreneurs and everything. But for the most part, you looked at your career like, I got to get into a good company. I'm going to work my way up. You know, I'm going to dedicate the next like 10 to 15 years to like working my way up in one company.
And like the massive shift that has happened since then is It's just crazy to me because how more how much more important is it to own your voice with as a 26 year old today, you know, at coming out of grad school or coming out of your education, like going into the working world right now. Now, how much more important is that,
[00:18:23] Rae Fung: you know, firstly, I just want to say that I am very grateful that my parents Transcribed Um, you know created financial security for themselves and for us Which created a good environment for me to be able to do I do today Right.
I am definitely grateful that i'm born in In the point in time that I was born in, though I feel like if I was born like 20 years prior, like maybe I would have figured, I would have done something else, I don't know, figured other things to do, but we're all born when in the right moment, the right time when we're meant to be born.
So I'm happy when I was born, right? I feel like personally, I really enjoyed a little bit of the back in the days where we did not have phones thing. Like, a little bit of that. Just a little bit. Like, in primary school, I didn't have a phone. I think it was only in secondary 2 that I had phones, and it would be the flip phone where you can download Sims, and you'll play Sims or Snake.
And, right, that's it. You don't really watch videos. You have, I had my iPod, like a tiny iPod, and that was what I had to use to, like, download music in, you know. I know what a floppy disk is. You don't really use much of that, thank God, but I know what it is. Um, so I enjoyed a little bit of that, which is great, cause I feel like I had so much fun meeting people and having fun in real life.
Uh, sorry, having fun in person as opposed to playing games on my phone. Right, when I was in secondary school, we didn't really use our phones much because, like, it's really just a call and text. You don't really play any games on it there. So me and my friends, we would, um, like, play tag, you know, we'll play Running Man.
So Running Man is this huge Korean variety show and there are various, uh, games within it that we will replicate. Right. You have to like put a tag behind you and tear the tag off from your friend, kill them, things like that. So we'll play that in the school field. And I think it's because we didn't get distracted with our phones that we had so much fun playing these actual games.
Right. And then over time, you know, technology came in and I, I started my business by accident because of social media. I was posting on social media throughout, um, University and I was just sharing pictures of me and behind the scenes shots of me emceeing and as I Started reading more books and listen to podcasts.
I was sharing tips and my insights on social media And unknowingly I was creating a personal brand, unknowingly. I was already building an audience that saw me as an expert. So that was why before I even graduated, there was this, uh, financial advisory leader who, who dropped me a message and he said, Hey Rae, you know, I saw someone posting an IG story review talking about networking, and I wanna get better at that.
Do you have a coaching program for that? And I didn't, but I just said, yes, I just said, yes, I do. And then I called my friend and I say, oh, how do I charge this person? What do I do? You know? Um, but that was like my first coaching client, right? And I only did one session with him. It was such a beta. It was such a new experience for me, but he really enjoyed it.
And he was very happy with the money that he paid and that was proved to me that okay, like You I think that my knowledge and my experience does have some value. Um, at that point in time, I, I was doing sales for like, three to four years already as a part time job. So networking was kind of already ingrained within me.
I was also a club promoter for a year last time. Like, I bring people into clubs and get paid. So I think that you develop a natural networking skill when you're a club promoter because you would go out there in club key with the clubbing streeters and try to get people to come in, build rapport with them.
So networking was something I was very comfortable teaching. So my main point is that the landscape of social media or personal branding has changed over the landscape of how you build a career for yourself has also changed. And I feel very lucky to be born at the time that I was born. Right. And I feel like because Social media is the way it is now.
You should take advantage of it, right? So people who are around my age like 26 and they are in the midst of creating their careers Why not use what we already have to our advantage? I think that back then the tough the tough the the hard the hard thing is that if you want to you know Build your business and market it you'll have to Fork out a lot of money to maybe get a billboard, put your name on the magazine or buy a car.
I mean, if I'm wrong, I'm just, I think this is how I was, you know, buy a little space, the newspapers and all that. Right now you can use social media for free and market yourself. But the problem is this is where, um, this is what the hot thing is right now. The hot thing is that there's so many people on social media.
There's going to be a struggle to stand out, right? We are in a world where bombarded with. Information with people sharing their opinions. You have so many posts coming out, millions, billions of posts coming out a day. How do you really stand out? That's the problem that people are struggling with right now.
Truly standing out in, in their career, in social media, on LinkedIn, to be seen by, by their potential employers, as well as by their potential, um, clients. So that's why I think in this point in time is especially important to learn how to build your brand online. Um, and it's not just about being smart or having the degree anymore because most people have that, right?
It is in knowing who you are and being able to communicate who you are, knowing your values, knowing what makes you unique, knowing what your strengths are, um, having an opinion about something, right? Caring about something, being convicted about Something in this world and then sharing it online so that you would be able to draw people who resonate with you into your space.
And if it's a, someone who is in the corporate world, then you'll look like sharing your thoughts on your industry, on social media, on LinkedIn, so that when your potential employers want to find out a little bit more about you, before they bring you in for an interview, they go on LinkedIn or they go on Google and they Google you, and they're able to know.
A little bit about who you are and what you stand for before they decide if they want to Bring you into an interview for an interview because if you have no social media presence, you'll probably choose someone else They don't want to waste their time. They would rather choose someone that has a social media presence So then kind of suss them out first before bringing them in for an interview if it's for an entrepreneur, right?
There's so many people out there that delivers your same service Right in order for you to stand out to the people to the clients that you're meant to serve You will need to show people Who you are and that is your own life experiences your unique story your unique voice It needs to shine so that people will know that they want to work with you and not somebody else I think that the thing about personal branding right is that each and every one of us we already naturally have a brand because Us being our own unique makeup of who we are our unique culture and upbringing Us being alive in itself, that's already our brand.
Like our energy is already our brand, but not many people know how to identify what about them is unique and then communicate it. So that's the real issue. Like knowing who you are, what you stand for, and then communicating it. That is a skill that you're going to learn in order to draw in. The clients and the opportunities that you're meant to attract totally understand
[00:26:22] Erika Behl: what you're saying about like standing out in a very saturated kind of social media landscape where there's millions of accounts and how are people going to find you?
Right? So you have to. You have to, you're saying, be authentic and figure out kind of what, what you stand for and then start communicating that or projecting that or attracting an audience around that. I mean, there's so many people out there on social media. I mean, if you, if your one intention is to grow followers.
I mean, there's, there's like a guy on Instagram who's just eating raw chicken every day to see how long, how many days until he gets salmonella from it. Oh my gosh. There's, there's all these crazy ways, like, if you're just looking to grow followers, right? But you're, you're talking about something deeper.
Yeah. Or am I, am I wrong when you're talking about like growing your audience around, um, a real message rather than just eating raw chicken or something. Hello, this is Erika. As a listener to this podcast, you'll know I love deep conversations. So I wanted to share something special with you. Something that's been a game changer for me.
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So how do you find that, um, especially for a, I'm, cause I'm trying to think back to when I was like in my twenties, and my twenties, I felt number one, like invincible. Like nothing bad was ever gonna happen to me. Like health insurance, like who needs that type of shit? You know, like I want to go out to a club and like my mind was not in the in the space of like What am I what is my purpose?
Like what what is my brand? I was just kind of like having fun So if you're a 20 something year old, like how many how many 20 somethings really know what their authentic brand is. How many want to know what their authentic brand is?
[00:29:32] Rae Fung: It's uh, like what you mentioned, right? Most people, they graduate and the first thing you think about is I gotta make money so that I can clear my debt and take care of my family.
I mean, that was my parents, right? My dad, he, he, he was in university while he was working. Right. But I feel like a lot of people around my age now, we don't just care about working hard. We care about doing work that is meaningful to us. That's what I've noticed. I'm wondering if it's maybe just a circle I'm in.
It could be that too, because I think that you tend to attract people who are similar to you.
[00:30:08] Erika Behl: I mean, it could be that, but I think there are like surveys like, uh, you know, large scale surveys and everything that say that, um, Gen Z, if you refer to that whole generation, um, Do you want to find much more meaning in their work?
[00:30:21] Rae Fung: That's true. That's true. I've read those surveys and articles as well. That's why sometimes like the Gen X and Gen Zs that work together in the same company, they struggle, uh, working together because for the Gen X, their mindset is just work hard all the time. In fact, there's a story that my friend was sharing with me.
I mean, it's her story. So she was sharing with me how, um, in her company, about 90 percent of people are Are gen Z's and Y's and millennials, but the head of the company, he's like a gen X. So the head of the company, his mindset is work is the most important. Like in your youth, you don't want to waste any time, use all the amount of time to work, work, work, build your pot of gold, et cetera, et cetera.
But a lot of millennials in the gen Z's to them, they want to live a more balanced life. There are other things that is important to them. Work is not their life, right? They want to have time to pursue their passions, et cetera, et cetera.
[00:31:13] Erika Behl: What I'm noticing is that even people who aren't trying to start their own business still want to own their, their brands.
I mean, if you look back for many of us who were on LinkedIn is like 16, 17 years old already. Like LinkedIn has been around for a really long time. And for most of us who worked in corporate, we had a LinkedIn profile, but we never did anything with it. Like it was just reposting your company updates or something.
But now I notice a lot of people, they have made me have a corporate job, but still they want. An online persona, profile, and brand. So since we've been talking about, you know, all of these, um, Gen Z people wanting to build a brand online, what kind of things do they come to you for? So you, I know you do trainings, you do coaching, you do all types of things.
So when, when somebody is looking to own their voice, like what is the thing that's usually holding them back?
[00:32:11] Rae Fung: Firstly, what do people usually come to me for? Most of the time, they want to own their voice because they want to either attract clients that they enjoy working with, or if they're in corporate, they want to have more opportunities to speak up and share, and share their ideas.
Um, even if they just started out, right? Or it could be like a rising leader who just got promoted and they find themselves, um, meeting a lot of challenges they don't usually meet as an individual contributor, like having to deal with. Tough conversations with your team members when your team members are really listening or having to negotiate things with people of higher authority and they find themselves struggling to speak up to people of higher authority.
So at any point in time, they feel like something is blocking them speaking up. That's what they want help with. And it could be a million one, like different challenges, right? So you come to me and the biggest thing I feel that is an obstacle to someone owning their voice. is when they haven't built a relationship with their voice.
So there are many reasons why, but that's usually the core reason, right? The core reason is they haven't built a relationship with their voice. So what happens when they haven't built a relationship, their voice is that challenges will come up in their life. And instead of taking the time to listen to what are the negative thoughts that come up or what the real problem might be, they just scramble to find a new strategy or solution that will help them with this challenge.
So if let's say they don't do well in a presentation or they struggle to speak up to the, to an authority figure or an older client, they immediately think, okay, I need to get better at networking skills. Okay. Let me go on YouTube and search more networking skills. And they think that is the skill set that they're missing.
But actually what is missing is they haven't been taking the time to listen to their voice to identify what the real problem is. And most of the time, the real problem is that they have a deep fear of an authority figure or they don't feel that they're good enough, um, to take on this new role that they have taken on as a leader.
Or maybe the real reason is that back at home, they have been avoiding tough conversations with their parents or their partner. And because they've been avoiding those tough conversations, they're unable to have the tough conversations in the workplace. It's so important to identify what's the real reason that's holding us back and holding our voice.
And each and every one of us have a different reason, but it's only when we take the time to hold space for ourselves to listen to our voice, then we actually know what the real reason is. And the thing is, it's very dangerous to, um, take action without knowing the real reason, because then we're solving the wrong problem.
So an example is, yeah, if someone has a fear of speaking and they decide that they're going to Chinese strategies and practice more. Okay. And they practice a little bit more and it does work, right? They become a slightly better speaker and they're more confident in the workplace. So they're like, Oh, okay.
That means that practicing is the way to go. So they think practicing is the solution. So they end up practicing more, but when a bigger challenge comes and, and, and, and, and, and stops them in their tracks and they have this fear response and it just frees, What's going to happen is they will start beating themselves up.
You'll start thinking, Oh, you know why? It's because you didn't practice enough. When the, when the, when the problem is that practicing is not even the actual solution in the first place, they didn't even know what the real problem is. The real problem is so much deeper, right? So when people work with me, the first thing we always do is to identify what's the real reason holding them back from owning their voice.
And then you can move on to the actual techniques. So I would say that's the biggest obstacle, not having a relationship with your voice.
[00:36:20] Erika Behl: Yeah. Cause it's, it can be so tempting to just reach for the latest, um, course or something or, or just say, Oh yeah, I just need to. Do X, Y, or Z and you look up a YouTube video for that.
Um, so they, they enter into more of a coaching relationship with you. Is that what you're saying?
[00:36:38] Rae Fung: Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So when people join my coaching program, um, what they will do is they'll go through a series of onboarding tasks. For me, I'll be able to create a more personalized roadmap for them. Um, I use my own your voice methodology to coach.
So this includes four pillars. The first one is rewire beliefs, and that is to identify the fears and limiting beliefs, holding them back, and then reframing their perspective. Rewriting those beliefs, understanding their conditioning and deconditioning. So they're able to, um, become come into their more authentic self.
The second pillar is awaken your authentic self. So your authentic self, I've broken it down into four things, which is your identity, your story, your voice, and your brand. So when they know who they are and what they stand for, then you'll actually have something of substance to say. One of the biggest reasons why people don't speak up is because they feel they don't have anything to say, right?
So when they identify what they actually do want to speak about, when they're convicted about their ideas, their opinions, their perspective, then there's a bigger reason for them to speak up. The third pillar is to embody your unique voice. And these are the skill sets of speaking and communication. So I teach them to master the simple frameworks.
And, and understand what are the principles of communication and speaking. They'll learn how to tell captivating stories. They'll learn how to network with people. Presentation skills, how to handle tough conversations. And then we move on to the fourth pillar, which is to magnify your impact. So once you have grown a deeper relationship with your voice, you know who you are and what you stand for, you use the techniques of speaking and speaking.
And communication, and you're ready to have a message to share the world, then we'll magnify the impact and learn how to use social media to share your message and build your brand. So these are the four pillars in my own your voice methodology. And when people come into the program, I will identify what do they need to start with first, and then create a personalized roadmap with this method,
[00:38:36] Erika Behl: you speak as if you're like a guru.
On this, like I thought it's always so hard for me to believe that you've got all this wisdom, um, by the time you're 26, because I like my, my lived experience is so different. And I think that some people believe, Oh, I need to keep learning, keep learning before I'm qualified to even talk about something.
And, and so owning your voice is really hard because you're like, uh, yeah, I do have massive imposter syndrome. Like what, why am I a manager right now? Why, why did they choose me even? You have distilled all of this into your own, like from your own lived experience and then from your research and your, and your study and all that kind of stuff.
Do you think if you, if you have a client like in their mid twenties or so, what is the difference between, um, kind of hearing it from you? Do you bring a different perspective on all of these things being? in that age group yourself and an Asian woman and, you know, a different persona and profile from these traditional kind of coaches in this space.
[00:39:45] Rae Fung: You know, the funny thing is when I first started learning a little bit more about business, people talk about, Oh, you know, maybe it's good to do a competitor analysis, a SWOT analysis, learn about what other people are offering. And then you want to offer something different. Those things never really worked for me.
I think SWOT is what the best for me is. Knowing who I am and showing up as who I am and learning how to accept who I am. So the thing about you, for example, when I first started, I did have a concern that people might think I'm too young, will I be credible, etc, etc. But what I've learned to do is just to accept I am who I am now, right?
I don't want to speed up. I don't want to like, Speed up my aging. I mean, this is who I am now. I gotta live with it. If I want to learn how to teach people to own their voice, I gotta do it now. I mean, I don't want to wait 20 years and then do it, right? I am who I am now and I have to work with what I have.
But when I allow myself to leverage my youth and my naturally energetic nature, people say that I have this like child like wonder. So yeah, I mean, when I'm just myself, uh, I realized that attract opportunities that are beyond my wildest dreams. So for example, conducting trainings for MNCs, I've actually coached a billionaire before, you know, there's like two to three times my age.
So it turns out that people actually love my youthful personality combined with my Depths of my philosophy when I teach and I've actually been hired Because I'm young before like someone told me that I decided to hire you This is a person that hired me for a training in an MNC and she shared with me that she hired me because she feels That her colleagues her team will want a different perspective, right?
They're kind of bored having the Older people come in and they just want a young energy, but if let's say if you're old, right? If you're listening to this and you're an old person then use that to your advantage, too Okay, i'm just saying whatever you are right now use it to your advantage if you're a boring old person Then be the most boring old person that is out there because being boring also has its flair Some people really like boring people That's it.
So then be the most boringness boring of your boring self. So the trick is in really like knowing yourself, deciding to accept who you are, and then just showing up as who you are. And I think when you do that, then naturally the people that are meant to work with you will. Right? So it's like, I don't know if you have played this game before.
Um, when I was in, uh, in university, we played this game during orientation camp. So you're blindfolded and you're given an animal. And you'll have to make the sound of the animal. Okay. Right, so let's say you're given, like, dog, then you have to bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. And if you're given pig, then you have to oink, okay?
And everybody's blindfolded, right? And you're just mixed around and all that. There's, like, maybe 50 people. And what you need to do is you need to go by hearing. You need to find your pack. The people that are the same animals as you. Yeah, so if you're oinking away, there'll be so many different voices around you to listen closely.
Where's the oinks? And you have to find your group. And the group that wins is the one that gets the most of their pack together. I think that in the world of personal branding, in the world of owning your voice, it's kind of like that. All of us, we have our own unique self, our own authentic self. And what we need to do is to show up as our authentic self and start finding the people that resonate with us.
The people that are our pet. If you are a dog, but you start meowing away, you're going to end up finding the cats and be the odd one out and feel very authentic and you have to act like you're a cat forever when you're truly a dog, you know what I mean? You know, it's a very funny way to put it, but yeah, you get my point, right?
Um, yeah. Yeah. So you're just going to be yourself and you will naturally attract the people that like you for you.
[00:43:57] Erika Behl: I think that's so relevant because now that we have more of a platform, if you are quirky, uh, eccentric, have a message that not many other people have. The world is a big place and your access to that world's attention is there as well.
And you can find people, like there are, there are people on Instagram who have this huge following based on their quirky habit of like loving trains or something like that. Like there's this guy who just, you know, he's, he's kind of nerdy and he loves trains. And like, turns out. So do like 200, 000 other people, or they like his, they like his enthusiasm about it.
Cause I, I think that's something that, um, at least in my case, when, when we were coming out of university, you were expected to conform to the industry that you were going to enter. Like if you were going into banking, like you said, like you put on a suit, you, I went into like oil and gas, which was very, uh, quite formal.
And, and quite, you know, numbers focused and quite serious. And like, we had no conversations about mental health ever. Like this was about money, like making money. Um, and that's the industry I was in for like 16 years. So you were expected to kind of conform and like, whatever didn't fit into that. You kind of just buried
[00:45:26] Rae Fung: pretty much.
[00:45:28] Erika Behl: Um, and so I think that's, it's lovely to see. this idea that building a personal brand and building a business, you can now just capitalize on whatever it is that makes you uniquely you, rather than trying to bury it.
[00:45:44] Rae Fung: Yeah. And I also believe that there is divine intervention involved, right? I feel like everything happens for a reason.
So if let's say the person, like, you are listening right now and you're a young person and you're doubting yourself and you're thinking, Oh, you know, I've just recently got promoted and the people in my team are like twice my age. Do I really deserve this promotion? Can I really do it? I feel that because you got it, there must be a reason why.
Right. I truly believe that the universe doesn't give you something that you can't handle yet. So if you were to believe that you're meant to be here for a reason, you're meant to get this promotion for a reason, then you'll choose to make the best out of it. You choose to learn and expand and evolve so that you can do it well.
You can do that position. You can do that role well, instead of doubting yourself. And then because of that self doubt, hold yourself back and cause you to, um, you know, not show up as who you are. So I think just that there is a bigger force out there that's helping you, the universe has your back, that's a very helpful thought.
[00:46:52] Erika Behl: When I describe corporate life as kind of conformist and everything, I think there are plenty of senior leaders out there who are willing to give people a chance to do what Give people their first managerial role and want to see them succeed. And so, like you said, if you are promoted, then people expect that you're able to, to, you're able to do it.
So, um, it's less of a, less of a, an issue to feel that imposter syndrome, but I think that needs to be communicated more, maybe.
[00:47:24] Rae Fung: Yeah, I think so too. But if let's say someone really feels like they're missing a certain skill set, I think that the company, the organization needs to have that safe space for people to feel okay to communicate that, right?
It's the psychological safety. Needs to be there because if let's say the person is empowered to speak up, but the environment doesn't Celebrate speaking up the environment is very harsh when it comes to someone saying the wrong thing. They're quick to Put people down when they say something quote unquote stupid Then people don't want to speak up people want to you know, don't want to share how they really feel but imagine a world where People feel safe to speak up, right?
They're going to feel a lot more okay to try and experiment with new ideas, share creative ideas in the workplace, come up with innovative solutions. They'll feel more safe to do it. Right? Because they know that even if, even if they make a mistake, that someone is going to correct them, but also encourage them to tweak the thing they just shared.
They won't, they will know that they're not going to get put down for what they have said. So I feel like there's a lot of benefit in creating a world that's more speak up friendly. And I hope that we can create that.
[00:48:47] Erika Behl: So it goes both ways. And one of the, the example I'm thinking of now is these videos where people actually record themselves as they're getting laid off, or as they're, you know, getting that call with HR and they actually record themselves.
Um, record the whole thing and then put it on Tik Tok or Instagram or something. I think that it's, um, for someone who has been a leader managing people and in order for there to be like a psychological safety, it has to kind of be mutual as well. And I totally understand like the leader is in a hierarchical higher position and everything.
So there's, there's a power difference there. Um, but if. if people are free to have, like you said, difficult conversations with people who maybe aren't performing at their best without it being recorded and or publicized for everyone to see, like there needs to be that safety.
[00:49:45] Rae Fung: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:49:46] Erika Behl: On, on all sides.
Um, and I don't, I don't know if everyone kind of gets that at the moment.
[00:49:52] Rae Fung: Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But you're right. I think both sides need to, to know. Um, I feel like maybe. We are improving as a society, especially with more cross cultural teams. And there are differences within the company, not just culturally, but also in terms of age and generations as well.
It's very diverse. Our, our workplaces are becoming a lot more diverse. So I think when it comes to that, it means that there'll be more conflict as well. So when conflict comes, the opportunity to then learn how to connect better and communicate better. Yeah. So I feel we're improving. I think over time. Um, I was recently hosting a panel where it's on about leadership And communication in diverse workplaces and the people on the panel are all like HR, um, directors or leaders or heads of organizations.
And after that particular panel, I left feeling very encouraged because they were talking about the various strategies they have put in place to make environments within the workplace a lot more speak up friendly, a lot more psychologically safe. Right. So I feel very encouraged, right? Even though I don't work in an organization, I'm hearing this and I'm like, That's great, right?
In the past, maybe we might not have a lot of, um, opportunities to share and speak up if you have just started out in the career and the youngest in the company, but now it seems that people want to hear and want to give an opportunity for the younger people to speak up as well. So I think we're improving, which is good.
Just to
[00:51:29] Erika Behl: clarify, you know, I do think it is the onus is upon the leaders to set the tone and you should always have to set that environment where. You can speak freely. Um, there are opportunities for you to share. Even if it's very negative feedback, I will provide the space, maybe not in a big town hall meeting, but in a one to one meeting for you to provide that feedback so that there's a, a line of communication there.
So the onus is always on the more senior people. I think we are getting there and, and we can create more mutual respect as well. Cause it's crazy. Like the workplaces are just a huge mix. Like not even, we used to think about DEI being like, ethnicity, um, LGBT, all this kind of stuff. But like generationally, the, the workforce is crazy.
[00:52:19] Rae Fung: Yeah, and, and that's why, like, as you mentioned, the, the, the onus is on the leaders to set the tone to admit their mistakes first when they do make mistakes or to share their stories of how they've overcome certain challenges when they, When they, when they see some of the team members going through the same challenges.
So I think that leadership has changed over time as well, like how a leader looks. It's no longer about power, but it's also about like earning the respect, right? So I think leaders needing to show a little bit more. Vulnerability and being authentic in who they are and what their lived experience is.
It's also very important because if the leader doesn't share their story, how can they expect people in their team to be willing to share their challenges? And mistakes, right? Yeah. So I think, um, as thought leaders, like sharing our, our ideas online, building our brand as thought leaders in, in the business space, if you are currently running your own company or building your own, um, personal brand, I think it's important to Set the, um, to, to set an example and to decide that you are willing to make the mistakes that other people aren't willing to make or share the stories that people aren't willing to share so that you can lead the way, like hold the torch and lead the way and other people will follow.
So I think as leaders, they need to do things that people aren't willing to do. And sometimes they could be very difficult things and like methods of the heart, like sharing your story, showing up as who you are, putting away, uh, putting the mask of inauthenticity away and just showing you as your authentic self.
That's very hard, but you've got to be willing to do that if you want other people to do it as well.
[00:54:07] Erika Behl: Yeah. And I mean, I get the feeling that especially Gen Z workers in the workplace would Would you view a leader sharing some vulnerability or some lesson they learned the hard way, um, as, as an asset, rather than something to, uh, something to look down upon that leader and say, like, what are they doing if they can't even figure out their own shit?
Like, it's, it's more like, uh, um, if you share a vulnerability and you come across as authentic. I feel like Gen Z will actually respect that and say like, okay, yep, they're human too. We all make mistakes and like be able to work with that.
[00:54:45] Rae Fung: 100 percent when you just share your wings. And how awesome you are.
People will admire you, but they'll admire you from afar and they'll put you on a pedestal. But when you share your mistakes, your lessons, the challenges you've been through and how you overcome them, that's when people's admiration would transform into respect. So if you want people to respect you, you have to share not just your highs, but your lows as well.
But of course, there's also, um, a way, a technique of being elegantly vulnerable. Right, it's very different from just like airing your dirty laundry and just ranting, right? So I think it's important to have that self awareness and and that's actually why I teach people about as well Like how do you being vulnerable but not Expose yourself in a way that could be painful and harmful to you I think having that personal awareness on what your vulnerability capacity is, and then learning how to communicate that vulnerable vulnerability in a way that is helpful to others is very important.
[00:55:48] Erika Behl: Yeah, yeah. It seems like a lot of leaders need, um, need some help with that. Do you work with senior leaders as well? And on how to become more vulnerable or is it just more of the Gen Z type? Yeah, I
[00:56:01] Rae Fung: am working with some leaders actually on how to be more vulnerable on social media, especially. Yeah, and they struggle with that because, um, in their minds, they think that, you know, I gotta just share my knowledge, et cetera, et cetera.
Like, they don't want to be too touchy because they're afraid. So I do work with leaders on that and, and that's why It's a, it's a journey of doing, of, of like exploring their vulnerability and the authenticity and then deciding to put it online and then learning how to take more emotional risk when it comes to creating content.
It's an entire journey. I think that the older you are, the more deconditioning needs to happen. So, you know, a lot of the older people, like they need to be willing to peel off the onion layers of who they think they are in order to get to the core of who they really are. So actually takes a lot more peeling, you know, a lot more peeling.
Um, there was one time I worked with this person, he has been running, building businesses from scratch for like decades, you know? So naturally the way he speaks is very like, I know what I'm saying. This is the way that businesses run. This is the way that, you know, things are meant to be done. And it took a lot of working together with him and effort to actually get him to just listen to a different point of view.
Obviously his current method is not working for him now with social media, et cetera, et cetera. And he needs to take on a new approach, but it's so hard for him to put his ego. Aside because for all his life He's just had people working for him and listening to what he has to say And a lot of the people in his team are like gen gen xs.
So they just listen to their boss. They don't question him They just listen listen listen take direction from him to have someone like me And the person I was working with was also a millennial. So both of us millennials actually come up to him and like share with him ways that he can explore social media that might be You Completely against how he, how he has been running his businesses for years.
That to him was very hard to take, right? But he hired us for a reason. He just needed, um, some time to be okay with listening to a different perspective. But in the end, you know, he needed to do that for his own good. Otherwise, he's just going to be stuck in his old ways. So actually, the older the person, the more effort it takes to decondition.
I can totally
[00:58:35] Erika Behl: see that. But obviously, I mean, there's a business cost to not doing it, right? Like, if you have high turnover in your whole workforce because you're out of touch, completely out of touch with your team and everything, then, yeah, it's going to force their hand. It's, it's not just a nice to have anymore, right?
So what, what are you doing? What are you doing next? I mean, you're already doing so much. Like where do you see yourself going in the next year, five years, what are you going to be doing?
[00:59:08] Rae Fung: Generally speaking on a broader, on a broad scale, on a broad picture vision, um, I'm going to continue growing on your voice.
And how that looks like is me researching and learning more and more about what it means for not just individuals to own their voice, but organizations to own their voice. So that's like my broad picture plan, um, because I really, really think that only your voice can really save the world. I know I sound very like crazy, but I personally do think so because I imagine a world where everybody has greater awareness of who they are, how their unique gifts contribute to this world, and as individuals, they'll be happier and more fulfilled.
And when you're more fulfilled and happier individuals, there's less conflict, less hate, right? Because conflict and hate are just manifestations of individuals unhappiness and unfulfillment. So if you think about it, if everybody lives a more fulfilling life, would they go bother spreading hate? Would they, you know, go bother like being an ass to people?
Probably not, right? Even if there's something that they disagree with, they'll talk about it with more, you know, with more wisdom and less doing stupid things to air their grievances. And I think as a collective, with the world being more Um speak up friendly in a world that owns their voice each and every person will be serving the function they're meant to serve They will be using their gifts in the way that they're meant to be used And it will make the world a more aligned and productive place Birds are meant to be birds and like pigs are meant to be pigs like you get my point Like everybody's just gonna be who they are and like Use the gifts that they were given instead of force, yeah Themselves into modes that they don't fit in.
So I'm gonna continue Learning more about what it means to own your voice and like I'm reading research papers about it, etc Etc so that I can grow my my thought leadership. So that is one in the broader picture. That's what I'm doing And what's next? In a more, like, practical basis, I am growing my podcast, which is called the Own Your Voice podcast on Spotify.
Um, I'm gonna continue to grow my Own Your Voice circle and serve more people. And what I'm very excited about is also to find new ways to use my gifts. I feel like I'm in this season of my life where I'm in, like, exploration mode. So I want to try new things, like I want to maybe take acting classes or like, you know, try to do new things like that I feel resonate with me, um, collaborate with people who are from other countries and find ways to, you know, Use my voice and use my gifts that don't exist yet if you get mine because I feel like we can create all these dreams and Create all these steps towards our bigger plan But in five years the world is going to be very different and those plans might have to be changed So that's why I try not to have two concrete of plans because I feel like the concrete plans are going to change one I do is I grow my Clarity of my vision and this vision of helping people own their voice It can be done through many mediums And do it through coaching to my podcast through speaking and through whatever new thing there is in future with ai and all that Which I don't know what will exist So I would just like use own your voice But like use it in that new thing whatever the new thing is and i'm excited to explore what new things there would be So that's what I'm doing I am looking forward to
[01:02:57] Erika Behl: that would be awesome to have like a Rae avatar just like Sitting beside you in the office saying like no.
No, you can do it
That would be awesome So and I I want to highlight as well like you are on instagram and tiktok I'm, like i'm not on tiktok, but I imagine you are And I've seen like on Instagram, I've seen like you put out a lot of short videos that are, I call them educational because you're actually talking about like situations or kind of like how to set boundaries, when to speak up for something.
So you are putting this into like bite size. Um, free resources online for people as well. So they can get a flavor of it and benefit from some of that. Um, even if you're not enrolled in your coaching program, um, directly. Um, so I want to ask you a final question. I know that you're talking about wanting to impact the world.
And I love that you have such a passion about it. Everybody who's starting a business has to like, think that their idea is going to save the world. Like, I think that's the only way you can kind of. Pursue it and be resilient. I agree. So, imagine this scenario, right? You, you wake up tomorrow morning and all of a sudden you have millions of followers.
You don't know how it happened, but your Instagram is just like, it's blown up and your TikTok. So you have this huge platform and audience ready to hear your message. What would your first message be to them?
[01:04:33] Rae Fung: I love this question. What a creative question. I think my first post, my first post would be sharing my story and then with that story, the message that each and every one of us, we have one life and I think we all deserve to live a happy, fulfilling and aligned life.
Whatever it is that is currently blocking them from living that life they are truly alive for and excited about, it is worth the time and effort to identify what's stopping them. Because everybody deserves to live a life they love. I think that's my main message. And I'll use my story to share that message.
I truly believe that We all have gifts that are unique, and those gifts, when we use them, will make us very, very happy. Alright, there's this one quote that I really love, which is that, Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
I think that quote just perfectly sums up the spirit of Own Your Voice. When we go do what makes us come alive, we're going to be happy and the world's going to be happy. So that's what I would share.
[01:05:51] Erika Behl: Thank you so much, Rae. It's been a lovely conversation, and I'd love to end it on that positive note for all the listeners.
Thanks again.
[01:06:02] Rae Fung: Thanks for having me.
[01:06:09] Erika Behl: If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe.